Feminist Killjoy

I'm feeling gleeful today, because yesterday I "passed" my mock exam! What does this mean? Well, four of my friends and colleagues who had already taken and passed their exams came over and pretended to be my committee, asking me questions four three hours about my exam list. It was grueling and I felt just as nervous as if I were taking the real test; they were very convincing with their impersonations! But I did much better than I anticipated, and I have a better idea of what I need to study now, so I think the mock exam was a rousing success.

This is the first time in months I've woken up hopeful and confident that I can pass!

Today in the mail I got this necklace from a friend, (it's a gold necklace that reads "Feminist Killjoy," and it was purchased from this awesome Etsy shop). My friend wanted to give me a "passing present" early to show how much confidence she has in me. This is a friend I've known since college, and she's since gone on to achieve ABD status in another field. It means so much to have the support of my friends and to know they believe in me.

I'm enjoying a long weekend to bone up on my areas of weakness. 18 more days until the oral part of my exams (then a day of rest before 72 hours for the written. Then I will collapse and pray until I find out whether or not I passed! It's nice to have an extra day to study and play fetch with my dog, who has been a great comfort to me. During the mock exam, he slept by my side the entire time, and it made me so much more calm to have him with me.

Next week I'm headed to the NOLOSE conference, and I am so looking forward to wearing daring outfits I'm not yet comfortable enough to wear at home, reconnect with my rad fatty family, and challenge my own boundaries and ways of thinking at great panels, including my own on being fat in academia. I'm a bit stressed about going to a conference two weeks before my exams and missing four days of studying (though I will be bringing some books with me, at least on my Kindle!), but I hope it will be uplifting and rejuvenating to see my friends and get to talk about fat and intersectionality for a weekend. NOLOSE allows me to develop the radical activist side of my academic interests, and transform theory into practice. It feels so necessary to be able to focus on how to strike back (the theme of this year's conference) against fat oppression, instead of just theorizing about it. I hope it will full me with power and I will go into my exams knowing I am powerful and awesome and capable and I will rock the heck out of my exams.

Proud to be a feminist killjoy. :)