OOTD Wednesday

Today's outfit did not go as planned at all. First of all, my dog had to go outside at 4:50 am, and I couldn't get back to sleep for an hour, which meant I slept in too late to take a shower like I'd planned. Which meant 3-day-old hair for me. Not how I wanted to start my 2nd day of teaching, but with some dry shampoo and another bun, I think it worked out ok.

Dress: Old Navy

Shoes: Orthaheel 

Bag: ASOS US

Glasses: Warby Parker

I'd planned to wear a hunter green shift dress with a gray blazer and a gold necklace. I had it all picked out and ready to go, but when I tried it on, I didn't feel comfortable with the level of VBO (visual belly outline). I'm trying to get more comfortable showing my VBOs, and I think this website celebrating the VBO is great, but some days I just don't have the spoons to be that risky with my fashion choices, and I think it is a risk for a fat, femme-presenting person to wear clothes that don't make every attempt to hide the fact that they are fat. It's a ridiculous attempt. No outfit is going to make anyone think I'm skinny. I'm not skinny. I'll never be skinny. I don't want to be skinny. But some days comfort (physical and emotional) comes first. Next I tried on my first-day-of-school dress from last year, but the top half was way too transparent for the bright pink bra I was already wearing, and I didn't have time to find another clean bra, so I grabbed this dress, which I have actually never worn. I love the floral pattern, but the purple/burgundy color is not one I typically choose. However, it's comfortable, and it worked out ok.

I like how you can see my bun in the mirror in this shot!

I think I ended up looking ok, and it was a comfortable dress, but I was so frustrated that my first two outfits didn't work out. I am also still having such a hard time getting up in the morning. I'm incredibly stressed about my upcoming exams and busy setting up meetings with my committee members for last minute advice and check-ins, and I'm really not a morning person. I'll be honest, too. I'm having a hard time with how I look right now. I HATE looking at these photos of myself. I always feel like I look better in the mirror, or the image I have in my mind than in a photograph. My body has changed so much over the past ten years, and even though I believe in body positivity, it's a struggle to always believe my ideals. Additionally, I'm sick of hot weather. I long for the weather to get cold enough to wear tights or leggings, cardigans, and sweaters. Pants! I am always happy when it gets warm enough to go without a jacket, but autumn and winter are my favorite seasons, so I really expectantly await the return of the cold.

I am glad that I have several different outfits lined up for these next few weeks, though. It helps quite a bit to have a rack of clothes from which I can choose rather than scrambling to find everything. I look forward to organizing my clothing after I'm done with exams!

How do you style yourself when things don't go according to plan?